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Talking to Children
About Tragedy
A Guide for Parents and Teachers
The
events of September 11 have shaken the very foundation of this
country's safety and security. Now is a time for grieving, healing,
reassuring and moving forward.
As
an integral part of the community, schools can assist children
and their parents to deal with yesterday's images of the "Attack
on America".
It
is important to understand that this tragedy effects EVERYONE,
not just those who have a connection to someone directly affected
by the incidents. Children were exposed to graphic images for
24 hours through the media, and we can not discount the impact
these images have on children of all ages. Additionally, for
some people, the events of September 11 will bring back memories
of past traumas. Of paramount concern are the children who have
been directly touched and affected by the loss of a friend or
family member during the September 11 attack.
To
deal with the events of September 11, Maryland State Department
of Education is providing information for staff when working
with children in schools and for parents at home.
Symptoms
Reactions
to trauma may be immediate or may not appear until weeks later.
No two individuals react the same to violence, loss, grief,
or to feelings of vulnerability.
Symptoms
may include:
Preschool age:
·
Fear of separation
· Excessive clinging
· Nightmares
· Sleeplessness
· Regressive behavior to earlier developmental stages
· Crying and other displays of emotional reactions
· Aggressive and acting out behaviors
· Fear
· Overreactions to normal situations
Elementary school age:
·
Fear of separation
· Excessive clinging
· Nightmares
· Sleeplessness
· Regressive behavior to earlier developmental stages
· Crying and other displays of emotional reactions
· Aggressive and acting out behaviors
· Fear
· Overreactions to normal situations
· School avoidance (school phobia)
· Disruptive behavior
· Withdrawal
· Psychosomatic symptoms (stomach aches, headaches, etc)
· Drop in grades
· Loss of concentration
· Loss of trust in adults
Middle
and High School
·
Fear of separation
· Sleep disturbances
· Aggression and acting out behaviors
· Fear
· Overreaction to normal situations
· School avoidance
· Disruptive behavior
· Withdrawal
· Drop in grades
· Psychosomatic symptoms
· Loss of concentration
· Loss of trust in adults
· Substance abuse (self-medication)
· Peer problems
· Anti-social behaviors
· Self destruction
· Accident prone behaviors
· High-risk behaviors
· Feelings of paranoia, jumpiness, and nervousness
Responses to students, parents, and
staff
Children
and adolescents take their cues from the adults around them.
Therefore, it is important that adults present a calm, reassuring
confident demeanor. It is important to be open and honest, to
provide available facts to allay fears, and to admit if you
do not have all of the answers. It is important to continue
to observe children, as some will not exhibit symptoms until
some time later. Responses to children should be appropriate
to age, experience and cultural norms.
It
is suggested that students in a school hear the same information
that should include a brief description of the incident, expected
reactions from children, and available resources in the school
and community. It is expected that immediately following the
trauma, there may be disruption to routines in schools and families.
However, as members begin to deal with their feelings and concerns,
it is important to return to normalcy in a timely fashion.
Suggestions
for parents:
·
Provide reassurance and protection
· Reassure children they are safe
· Spend more time with your children and spend more time
as a family
· Talk to your children about what they know
· Determine your child's perception about what happened
through conversation and play activities
· Limit a young child's exposure to the media and the
graphic images
· Provide play experiences to help relieve tension
· Physically reassure your children with hugs
· Read books and stories that deal with characters who
have confronted disastrous events
· Allow children to cry or be sad; don't expect them
to be tough
· Acknowledge and validate your child's feelings - no
matter what they are
· Communicate to your child that his feelings are normal
Responses
for schools
These
suggestions are for dealing generally with a crisis such as
this. Students who are personally effected by loss should be
referred to school based crisis teams and other available resources.
·
Hold in school sessions with entire classes, small groups of
students and/or individual students.
· Plan instructional and community service activities
to help students appropriately express their feelings, i.e.
giving blood, writing letters, fund raising, writing journals/poems/stories.
· Temporarily suspend instruction if necessary, but reestablish
and maintain routines at all times.
· Integrate and relate the disaster to areas in the curriculum
to enable teachable moments.
· Discuss how disaster brings out the sense of community,
citizenship and camaraderie.
· Take the focus off the event, and help students identify
what the school can do to make them feel safe.
· Be especially aware of students who are high risk.
· Utilize all available staff when developing a plan
to respond to children.
· Encourage children not to make major life decisions
while they are upset.
· Communicate with families by meetings, newsletters,
web sites and increase awareness of available resources.
· Allow ample time for healing.
Resources
·
Speak with your school counselor for counseling and referral
sources.
· Check with your local school system central office.
· Web pages:
www.nmha.org/terrorism.cfm
www.ncptsd.org
www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/violence.cfm
www.schoolcounselor.org
www.wright.edu/sopp/cps/TraumaticStress.html
www.nasponline.org
www.assignmentmedialit.com
www.ed.gov/inits/september11/index.html
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